I PROMISE you that I will NOT turn into a blog with reblogged gifs, BUT this one is funny. Possibly one of the funniest/creepiest moments on The Simpsons.
Ok I know most people don’t believe in all the horoscope business and whatnot but I do so there :P
But what I don’t like is the way some astrologers word their horoscopes.
Exhibit A: Taurus monthly horoscope written by Russell Grant
When you make a generous offer at the start of August you’ll be surprised to find it causes some unexpected problems among your friends; so it might be a good idea to plan an outing or take a short trip with them. You’ll get positive feedback on a creative project on the 4th. Don’t buy household luxuries on the 5th; you’ll find a better price on them later in the month. Throw your heart and soul into a challenging work project near the 8th. A demanding teacher may insist you go back to square one on the 11th. You’ll get favourable publicity for your hard work in the days surrounding the 13th. Add decorative touches to your home in mid-August. Buy yourself some time saving equipment near the 18th. Friends may be jealous of your vacation plans on the 21st; keep them under wraps. Developing your artistic talent with a respected teacher makes your spirits soar on or around the 25th. Let a lover broaden your horizons on the 28th and your thoughts will quickly turn to longer term options. A loved one will give you a beautiful gift or do something wonderful for you at the end of the month.
The way Russell Grant has worded his horoscopes is that it basically ‘tells’ you what’s going to happen. It tells you what to do on certain days of the month and what not to do.
Exhibit B: Taurus monthly horoscope written by Jonathan Cainer
Are you spoilt for choice? In one way, you are. A decision that might normally be easy to make is tricky. There are so many fascinating options and alternatives. Though some of these seem like attractions, others are really just big distractions. So how do you tell the difference? Just ask yourself what you would do if you were in a really tight corner? Who would you turn to then? What would you need more than anything? Make sure that your fall-back position is totally secure this month. If it isn’t, your choice is made. If it is, you can choose whatever you like!
Jonathan Cainer’s horoscopes don’t tell you what to do because everyone has free will. Also his horoscopes make you think.
What I’m trying to get at here is that everyone has choices in life. And a horoscope isn’t telling you to make this choice or that choice, it’s there to guide you if you make that decision or a different decision, because everyone has free will. So if people think that horoscopes never predict the future then they’re technically right, because it isn’t an astrologer’s job to predict the future. An astrologer’s job is to study the movement of the planets through the constellations and sectors of the sky and use that information to guide people through life.